You live for the bass pounding in your chest. You can feel it radiate from your toes to your head. You feign for that 808 kick, waiting for it to release the energy you hold within. Standing center stage, front row, giggin out to the artist rockin in front of you. You scream along to the all to familiar hooks written by artists you respect. Dancing, swaying, and gettin into it.
I watch you, from the back of the room. Jealousy overcomes me instantly. After all, that used to be me. Camera in hand, I rarely left the front row. I was exactly where you are, until suddenly that all changed for me.
The bass that you so fondly admire, radiated into my stomach and made me physically ill. Nausea washed over me and turned my pink cheeks pale. My legs ceased to function, even with the assistance of the cane in my hand. The lights from the stage made me dizzy and vertigo rarely left me.
As each show after, came and went, I managed to stay less and less until I couldn't even attend at all. I couldn't fathom paying a cover charge to make myself sick. Upon some investigation I discovered that these were all symptoms of Fibromyalgia; a disease in which I already carried over 30 symptoms. Along with fibromyalgia (an incurable autoimmune disease), I have also been diagnosed with adenomyosis, endometriosis and myositis. As I await a fifth diagnosis for a neurological disorder that has all the best specialists stumped, I find myself in the center of the hip hop world.
You may wonder why. Why would I subject myself to such pain? Let me tell you, it's more than worth it. When I first got introduced to the local scene, I was in a terribly low place. I had previously had two surgeries in 6 months. I was constantly ill, my career was headed out and I kept pushing myself to the limit with nothing to look forward to.
And then I was introduced to S.P who had recently opened club M.I.D.A.S. I watched from afar as several groups got on stage to show off their music. It was unlike anything I had ever heard. This was not the "hip-hop" that aired on the radio. This was real, heart felt, I-have-something-to-say, music. Why was this not being shared and promoted with the world? I could not fathom why more people didn't know about these artists.
I was so moved my mind was overrun with ideas on how to promote them and get their name out to the world. I believed from the moment I met them, and still do, they are takin over and deserve every ounce of attention they get. I made a vow to myself at that moment to get out there and do something.
The first artist I introduced myself to was Miz. I was so nervous all I could muster up the courage to say was, "I really enjoyed your set". Turns out, that's all it took. He was grateful for the honesty and we chatted a bit.
I began to introduce myself to each artist I felt moved by. I met Zikki and Ill Defined of Breathe Eazy along with their producer Bruce Waine. I'm proud to call them family. Along with the men, I met the women who stand behind them.
I met Casanova and Controversy whose music and way of life speaks volumes about who they are as artists and who they are as men.
There are so many artists I truly believe in and I want to share their stories with the world. They deserve to be heard. So with that, I'm putting myself out there again. Be patient with me as it takes a bit of adjusting. Don't take it personally if I dip out on a show early.
I'm prepared to share each story not only in this blog, but in this book I'm about to write. Find me at www.facebook.com/hiphopsavedmylyfe
Family and friends. Truth music. That is why I do what I do.
*Love and respect.
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